Florida was a whole lot of what I love, and a bit too much of what I hate. Now that I’m back to Crazy Town, CA, I find I need a new strategy. Do I really move to Florida, and if so, where?
The weather, as expected, was heavenly. Even in August, I
love it. Nights and mornings had perfect temps, thunderstorms arrived every
afternoon and also a few mornings – what could be better?
Regrettably, a lot. But that had to do with the Airbnb I’d
booked. I had discovered it months ago while trying to find a funky adobe on a
bit of water. Situated in Matlacha, it looked perfect. A four-plex, built in
the early 1950’s, and originally a small fisherman’s cottage. Most likely, only
the front two units are original, with the others added a few decades ago.
The unit I had booked sat closest to the canal. Widows on three
sides and, with the front door open, air circulation from every direction. I
walked in and felt I was in heaven. As soon as I dumped my bags at the door, I
went around to open every single window in the place so as to be enveloped with
tropical breezes.
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| Sealed Jalousie Windows |
The entire cottage had louvered/jalousie windows. (Jalousie
was a new word for me.) These are the ones with windowpanes that are cranked
open. They are perfect for air flow in hot climates. I approached the first, raised
the blind to find the crank handle, and was dismayed to see there wasn’t one.
I checked all the other windows and although the crank mechanism
stood intact, no handle could be found. Maybe I could simply push them open. (I
had done that in the past at other houses.) When that didn’t work, I took a
walk around the outside.
Oh no! Every single window had been painted shut, and screws
had been inserted to prevent one from trying to open them.
Quickly, I went back in a sent a message to the owner asking
how to open the windows. Her reply, “They cannot be opened due to architectural
reasons that cannot be changed by us.”
Huh? What did that mean? Later I heard that there were
historic preservation codes for the older homes in Matlacha which, to me, would
mean that the owner would not be allowed to nail the jalousie windows shut.
I began to freak out. It was deathly hot and stuffy indoors.
There were two junky, old, noisy wall air-condition units, but I hate AC. I had
come to Florida to bathe my senses in tropical bliss.
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| Main Drag Matlacha |
Since the owners are European and do not reside in Florida,
I was not sure what else I could do. But then the manager showed up. I
explained that I needed to open the windows.
Her answer was along the lines of “You can’t possibly
survive in Florida in the summer without air conditioning. This is the reason the
owners sealed all the windows.”
Again, huh? I have lived all over the world in hot and humid
climates and never once had AC. Or if I did, it was old and junky and sounded
like a jet engine taking off. I might use it to cool down the house for about
ten minutes, but then it’s off.
Of further concern is that there was no egress from the
bedroom, which is located on the other side of kitchen/passageway. If a fire
were to start in the front room or kitchen, one would be toast with no escape
route in sight. When I mentioned this to the owner, that they were not in
compliance with fire codes, I was told I was wrong.
Upshot is I spent a fortune on a two-week trip that was not
very fun. Lesson learned: steer clear of Airbnb. Had I been in a hotel, I would
have checked out the following day. With Airbnb, one has no recourse. I even
contacted the owners upon my return and thought they might offer a bit of a
refund. No such luck. Apparently it was my fault that I had not asked about the
windows in advance.
I will never understand why people move to Florida to live
inside hermetically sealed, freezing cold homes. As I walked around my tiny
neighborhood of three canals, I noticed that only one home had its windows
open. Jalousie windows on the front and sides of the home had been cranked open
to their maximum. Through them, I could see ceiling fans turning. At least
there was one sane person on the island.
Aside from a disgustingly hot, stuffy, and claustrophobic cottage,
that I endured the entire time, there is the accessibility situation.
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| Matlacha Ave |
I knew Matlacha was an island that connected to another
island. But I hadn’t really thought that through. Once one leaves the little
areas off the main road, all sense of peace and quiet disappears. I would walk
out of my place, go a few blocks and I was on a highway. Possibly not a
highway, but it felt like it. In other words, there was no cute town to roam
around. No little grocery store. Nothing but the main drag. At this time of year, it wasn’t too bad. In the winter, when all the tourists arrive, apparently
it’s a nightmare of traffic and noise.
Aside from that, to get to a supermarket requires driving on
the Florida roads that I hate. Massive, modern, lanes-wide throughfares that
carry the populace to the stores. I Uber it whenever I travel, but that’s
a holiday thing, not good for everyday living.
I lived in Ocean Beach CA, when I was a student at SDSU. At
the time, it was a bit of a hippie/surfer/college-student town. I loved it. I
used to see the oldsters on their adult tricycles tooling around OB. I swore back
then that when I got to their age, I too would own a baby-blue tricycle. And
since I now have arrived at that point in life, it is what I want.
There must be somewhere in Florida where I can get a tiny
little place to live and be able to ride around on three wheels. I want a
small-town, friendly-neighborhood type place. I do not want to drive. I do not
want to navigate massive roads to go and buy supplies. But where is that secret
locale hiding?
I got lots of suggestions from various people I spoke to
when I was there. But then I look at a map of Florida and I am lost. I cannot
possibly go to every city in the state and search for my home. I do know I want
West Coast Florida, but where? I will take all recommendations.
At least back in CA, I can open all the doors and windows. It isn’t as warm and lovely as Florida, but at least we’re getting into the best months of the year.
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| Edison's Dock Ft Myers |
